We have appointments to lock down for this week. I need to talk to Dr. C (C's oncologist) about better communication - he's a phone guy, I'm not. Using the phone means we're on his schedule. When he happens to return a call, no matter where I am - in a meeting, driving, whatever - I need to find my notes, get someplace I can talk, get past the sense he's trying to make the call short, scribble down his answers and try to make sure I get info on what I called about in the first place. It feels like I get about 65% of what I was after, which means I need to call him again. I have to get him on an email regimen.
We have a looming Blue Cross confrontation that we should win, but it's hanging out there, interfering with the scheduling of critical tests, potentially delaying care. There are documents to pick up, letters from the doctors that saw C prior to his diagnosis testifying that there is no way C could have known he had cancer when he saw them - proof he isn't trying to defraud Blue Cross - defeating any attempt by them to use the "pre-existing condition" clause insurance companies are so popular for.
This post today isn't directly about C's experience - it's some loose pieces that flesh out the narrative. Brother David had another update from the field, the stuff that came before, that stuff that beating this will let us get back to. David says:
"Seeing the images of the hospital and C surrounded by starkness, I couldn’t help but flash back to our times on the mountain. C got me into snow camping and like they say, if you have to ask why we do it, you won’t understand the answer.
"On Mt Lassen we built a Kigloo which has walls made of snow blocks and a roof of nylon. As Dom asks, “Did you pack the LCD Flat Screen?”, C probes his chow and confirms that hunger is the best sauce."
C talked about fighting this fight, how focusing on the top of the mountain, the ultimate goal, is daunting. How just looking to the next bend in the trail, the next footstep, makes it manageable. Our friend Gus related it to his experience late on Monday of Hell Week, the tortuous week of abuse that separates Navy SEALS from almost Navy SEALS. "Surf torture will begin at last light. As it starts getting dark and you approach the water, the tough thing is knowing what's coming. As you link arms with your boat crew, the sustaining thing is knowing that you won't be alone."
And our sister Karen added this quote, in the comments, from songwriter Si Kahn:
It's not just what you're born with,
It's what you choose to bear;
It's not how large your share is,
but how much you can share;
And it's not the fights you dreamed of,
But those you really fought -
It's not just what you're given,
It's what you do with what you got."
So many have asked how they could help, and soon we will have answers to that question. They will get the "you asked" email - some already have. If it truly takes a village, these are all parts of ours.
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